I have not been feeling powerful lately. I’ve felt small and anxious and very much like I don’t know what I’m doing or who I am or what is happening in the world.
When I feel like this, I sink down into my soft, safe bed and I sleep until my body is sore, until my mind is so spacey and dreamy that my waking life seems far away, like someone else’s ordeal to handle. Eventually, my body can’t take the inaction anymore and I have to wake up and rejoin my life, put coffee and food in my belly, leave the house and be among people. Sometimes it takes me all day just to talk myself into walking to the market because I feel too raw and exposed to be in the world.
A good friend recently reminded me that we need to celebrate the little steps we are able to take during lows like this, like buying groceries and cooking a nice meal, taking a walk through the fall leaves, wearing outfits that make us feel powerful.